The Cabbage Patch - Now in Your Pocket!
If you use a mobile web browser (like, say on your fancy-pants mobile phone), you can read The Patch in it’s amazing new mobile format!
Thanks to the very cool WPtouch iPhone Theme, whenever you want to Patch-on-the-go you’ll get a spiffy site that looks a little something like this:
So there you go.
Prop 8 - The Musical (aka “them gay folk are funny”)
During the recent US elections, the state of California remembered which backward country they were actually a part of and voted for Proposition 8 - a Constitutional Amendment essentially banning gay marriage. This despite the Supreme Court ruling in May of this year allowing such marriages.
Now that you know the background, here’s “Prop 8 - The Musical” from Funny or Die:
This was created by Marc Shaiman and Adam Shankman (of Hairspray fame), and stars just about everybody.
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Police Seek Speeding Muppet, Mr. Snuffleupagus Suspect in Double Homicide
Forget drunk-drivers or teenage hooligans, apparently the real threat out on the roads are maniac puppets.
Get these hooligan puppets off our roads!
From The Daily Star:
An Audi TT with British registration plates has been repeatedly caught speeding on roads in the Bavarian city of Bayreuth.
But because continental speed cameras are set up for left-hand drive vehicles, the cameras keep missing the driver’s face.
Instead, they keep capturing clear views of a manic Muppet-like toy which the cheeky Brit has propped up on his passenger seat.
Bloody brilliant.
I especially like this bit:
A German police source said: “The number plate is not enough. We need clear evidence of who is driving the vehicle too.
“But because this is a British vehicle we can never get a decent picture. The driver has obviously worked this out because he has placed a large puppet in the passenger seat.
“This may be an example of the famous British sense of humour but it is still dangerous driving.
“The driver has been caught on camera on several occasions and the puppet is on the passenger seat every time. We suspect he positions the toy deliberately before accelerating past the camera.”
It’s even funnier if you read the policeman’s quote in a ridiculous fake German accent. But then, isn’t everything?
– [from The Daily Star, via Boing Boing. Photo from Nothing to do with Arbroath.]
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Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the world yet?
If you’re feeling paranoid and want to check on the state of the Large Hadron Collider, just point your computer (or fancy-shmancy phone) towards http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com.
It currently says “NOPE.”, which is rather comforting.
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I’d like to know too.
Yesterday, some lucky web-traveller got to this site by searching for “ricky gervais’s sexual identity”. Brilliant!
How To: Change a Person’s Body (aka The Virtual Boob Job)
Welcome to the long-awaited second part of my series of pointless Photoshop tutorials! This is the part in which I commit horrible acts against the self-esteem of young women everywhere as I instruct you how to digitally alter any person’s appearance.
In reality, this technique is most useful for boring touch-ups - getting rid of “love handles” or “lunch-lady arms”, emphasising muscles or otherwise giving a photo that magazine look.
However, as is my tradition, I’m going to demonstrate this technique using an attractive female celebrity. In an effort to cash in on the Internet’s obsession with boobs, I will be giving the lovely Ms. Jennifer Garner some imaginary breast implants. Please save any comments about my misogyny until the end of class.
Let’s get to it!
Perhaps a Little Too Nerdy - The Imperial March on a Floppy Disc
A long time ago, in computers far, far away, people used small plastic squares to run their computers (aww… how quaint). Apparently, these “floppy discs” only serve one purpose now - they are being used as truly hideous musical instruments.
The song, of course, is The Imperial March (Darth Vader’s Theme) from Star Wars. The instrument is a 3.5″ floppy drive. Why? Because there apparently isn’t enough nerdity on the Internet.
– [via Neatorama]
Introducing Gravatars - surprisingly not from Star Trek
An update of the theme I use for this here website has included Gravatars. Despite the name, Gravatars are not in fact something from bad Sci-Fi, but are actually small images (or “avatars”) that will appear next to the name of a commenter in the comments of each post. You can check the comments of this post to see an example.
If you’d like your own Gravatar, you can enter your email address at gravatar.com and upload a picture. Whenever you comment using that email address here (or at any site that supports Gravatars), the picture will automatically appear.
Ain’t no Barbie here - Dollhouse Trailer
World (or at least, the three of you who haven’t seen this yet), let me introduce you to the trailer for the upcoming TV show, Dollhouse:
Sorry, can’t embed. Click picture to see video.
For those of you not as rabid a TV fan as I, let me explain. Dollhouse is the next TV project from Joss Whedon (creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel and Firefly) and stars Eliza Dushku (who is also executive producer) and Tahmoh Penikett (of Battlestar Galactica).
As is perhaps apparent, I’m a huge fan of everything Whedon, and am immensely excited for this show. Unfortunately, it won’t begin airing until early 2009 on Fox in the US, and who-knows-when here on Channel Ten (who have apparently picked it up).
Regardless of the wait (and the near-inevitable Internet piracy that will have to occur to actually see it), the trailer and this short “sneak peek” of the pilot have me embarrassingly excited.
Maybe I’m just an ageing fogey…
…but somehow, Dave’s last post has struck a chord with me.
MySpace is a disgrace. To make matters worse, all of the 13 year olds have begun the emo-diaspora and are making their way over to Facebook which was once the exclusive play-pen of the Undergraduate classes of society. Bringing with them, not just teen angst and, like, shit grammar. Like. But (see, I started the sentence improperly. Like, totally ROFL-copter) also the same flashy, gaudy on-screen shit that MySpace became so notorious for. It’s almost like all of the programmers and developers eking out a living in Estonia or some other newly established country in Eastern Europe have realised there is an as-yet undervalued market for all things flashy and gaudy amongst users of Facebook and have focussed their attention on giving everyone virtual kittens and virtual emoticons. Indeed! Virtual emoticons… apparently because they aren’t used in real-time, they’re not real, and thus, are virtual.
Now, I do use Facebook. First of all, for poker. I’m bloody crap at it, but I can’t just can’t stop. Plus, seeing as it’s betting the online equivalent of matchsticks, there’s no harm in it. Secondly, I use Facebook as a diary and let people dictate to me when and where I should turn up with a bottle of grog and say “Happy birthday!” or “I’m sorry for your loss!”. It is also amusing to see just how small a social circle we, the bourgeoisie, move around in. For example, Courtney Tight, a friend of mine from Uni, went to a 21st birthday party at the weekend which was also attended by Rowan Spitt Witt, a boy I went to school with. That interested me for all of 8 seconds, however, it was a welcome distraction from my overdue essay and the tepid Butter Chicken I had bought for lunch.
While, following enough peer pressure, I will succumb to the latest juvenile fancy (at the moment, Facebook), I like to maintain an air of dignified, out-of-touch superiority over the plebs. It’s kind of like how Bentleys don’t have Satellite Navigation yet. If your chauffeur doesn’t know where he is going then you need a new chauffeur. To this end, I refuse to use emoticons, I haven’t exchanged money for a video game since Doom 2 came out, I long for the simplicity of Windows 98 and I couldn’t be bothered to work out the difference between Windows Vista Ultimate and the other version… is it Penultimate?
That’s not to say I don’t understand it all. Back in the days of yore (as in, before your time sonny) I sent an sms to myself just to see what happened. It was 1997 and nobody knew what it was, or why you’d use it. “Sounds alot like a pager to me” or “25c? Just to say hello?” were common reactions. Now, everyone’s on the bandwagon. They’re even having sex on it. Back in my day, sex was something you coerced from someone with statements such as “I love you” or questions like “Will you marry me?”. At worst you negotiated a cash price with her boyfriend on a corner in Kings Cross. Now you just text ’slunt’ to 19 55 11 for a bevy of beautiful babes on your mobile now! ‘Now’ is invariably 2:30am and the ‘beautiful babes’ seem to look a lot like that guy from Big Brother. Or is it just because in the drunken haze you mistook ‘Up Late with HotDogs’ for ‘Girls Gone Wild’ ?
Anyway, I’m going to go and put a blanket in the dryer for 20 minutes so I’ve got something to warm myself with when I sit down to watch Lateline on the ABC.
You Know it Makes Sense.
I’m TomHB.
