The Cabbage Patch

How Y’all Goin’ Today, Folks?

Hello World.

I’m coming to you LIVE from the lovely US of A tonight, and boy is it HOT! Well, actually, it’s not. It’s cold. It’s bloody cold. And wet. And dark. Basically, the weather here in Anaheim, California is bleak and miserable. But that’s winter for you.

Weather aside, I’m having a great time. I’ve only been here for three days but it feels like it’s been a month. So far, I’ve been to DisneyLand (twice - with up to three more days left on the ticket!), Universal Studios, Hollywood Boulevard (yes, that’s the one with all the celebrity stars in the “sidewalk”), Graumann’s Chinese Theatre (where all the celebrity handprints are) and Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills (where I saw a $52,000 gold, diamond encrusted watch). I have eaten far too much fast food, and drunk more Coke than I thought could possibly exsist.

I don’t have enough time to write much more, but I shall try to check in in the next few days with more (possibly with photos!).

Please, e-mail me with any news or tales of fun-filled adventures that you think I may need to know, at orrible.cabbage@gmail.com

I’m off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of US…

Hello World.

I am terribly sorry for the lack of updates here (well, not terribly sorry, maybe just a little sorry), but I feel that I am entitled to a few weeks holiday here and there, don’t you? Ok, obviously not.

But the point is that I am back today with the usual hilarity and time-wastingness, for the last time before I leave for America! I may, or may not, be able to update from the US (I don’t know how civilised they are there - do they have the internet?) so this may be the last time you hear from me for a few more weeks - though hopefully not. Anywho, let the merriment ensue!

• What is EPIC? This is a flash video sent back from 2014, explaining what has happened to the world’s media.
• Here is a fun little game called DR3i. Simply move the red dot using your mouse to collect all the tokens without hitting the walls.
• Breakdancing Transformers!
• A list, with captions, of the ten worst album covers of all time. My favourite? “Devastatin’ Dave - The Turntable Slave”
• A cute cartoon video clip, staring bunnies, for that classic TISM song - “Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me“.

Well that’s it for now, however I would just like to take a moment to talk to all the doubters. Yes, I mean you. Many of you doubted my claim that I had defeated the nigh-on-impossible game Balm, saying that it was just too hard. Well, I had won then, and now I have won again! And this time I have proof! I took a beautiful screenshot of the victory screen for you all to gawk at, and marvel at my godliness. Thank you, thank you, no really, thank you.

Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!