The Cabbage Patch

‘Orrible Cabbage, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Posted by Dave

Hello World.

Apparently, once upon a time, I was a comic book character.  And not just any comic book character either, but an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., working alongside Nick Fury himself!

Unfortunately, Agent David Purcell only seems to have appeared in one issue, and the entirety of his story can be summed up thus:

David Purcell was a young S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, a cadet who was about to graduate. He was hoping to marry his girlfriend Gail. As he was preparing for the graduation day ceremonies, Gail noticed that he was missing his dress boots, and he started searching for them. As he was occupied, HYDRA agent Lt. Romulus broke in and killed Gail from behind. Before David could react, Lt. Garotte grabbed him from behind and crushed his neck.

The two HYDRA agents then used David’s body to create an LMD with which they could infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D. Central on graduation day.

The LMD found Baron Strucker’s Satan Claw weapon where S.H.I.E.L.D. had impounded it, and transmitted the schematics to Strucker so that he could build a duplicate. By that time, S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Bruno Krea had smelled cyclonite on Dugan’s hankerchief, and they were about to deal with the matter when the LMD was detonated, and the explosion destroyed S.H.I.E.L.D. Central, killing all 1,500 graduates gathered that day. A mop-up squad of HYDRA crafts ensured that no survivors escaped the blast.

Basically, my comic book namesake witnessed his girlfriend’s violent murder shortly before meeting his own demise, then his body got turned into a walking bomb and killed all of his classmates.  So, not really a legacy I’d like to be remembered for, to be honest.  But still… Nick Fury!

1 Comment to ‘Orrible Cabbage, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

1. 

   What’s in that bandolier? Jumbo tampons?

   Knowing Agent David Purcell, I offer the hypothesis that he is well prepared and has brought plenty of toothpaste.
TomHB on November 13th, 2007

Leave a comment