The Cabbage Patch

Grey Ghosts

What an efficient group parking inspectors are. So efficient it’s hard to believe they work for local council. I can’t count the number of times I’ve slipped into a newsagent or a two hour lecture and come back to find a yellow envelope flapping under the Peugeot’s wiper blade. Looking back over my receipts, I realise in the month of August for example, I spent $480 on parking fines. September? $310. In October, $290. I haven’t bothered to pay November’s fines yet.

So a big congratulations to the parking inspector. Now if only you were doing something useful rather than impeding business…

Why don’t you chase real criminals–illegal immigrants, heroin addicts–or find a cure for cancer, rather than skulking around in the shadows with your dyke haircuts and ill-fitting uniforms waiting to stuff the day of busy people doing important tasks?

Look. I’m as broadminded as the next person and I’m sure that there is such a thing as an attractive lesbian, but what is it about parking inspectors and bad uniforms? It’s like they’re taking it out on the world because they’re too short to join the police force. Once I would have said too stupid, but let’s face it, there’s no such thing as too dim for today’s police force.

And don’t they like a fight? You might as well use logic and a well-formed argument on a brick. At least with a brick you’d have something you’d be happy to take home. I struggle to think however of the sort of home which welcomes a Parking Inspector. Not only are they professional narks, but they wear beige 5 days a week and the tool of their trade is a piece of chalk on a long pole. I’d rather clean the private booths at $2 peep-shows.

I say, let’s turn a weakness into a strength; give the Grey Ghosts guns and let them loose on teenage gangs. Neither group will be missed, so whatever happens, we win.

TomHB.

Tags: rant