The Cabbage Patch

Squirrels With Lightsabers!

Hello World.

This is a photo of squirrels with lightsabers, in honour of the 30th Anniversary of Star Wars.

Original on Flickr!

– [via Digg]

It’ll be called: "Queer as Chucky"

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A starship captain who is secretly gay has a baby with a parolled murderer who’s a mannequin come to life. Stars Marion Ross and Kelly Ripa. Genre: Action

This is the concept for a new TV show as proposed by The TV Show Pitch Generator.

It is interesting to hear concepts presented in this way, because as bizarre as they sound, they’re really not that different from what is actually on television:

A city girl, whose estranged father dies, moves to the country to ride horses with mysteriously good-looking farm-hands.  After a few years, there will be no one called McLeod remaining on the show. Stars Generic Replaceable Blonde Actress and Generic Replaceable Brunette Actress.  Genre: Crap

– [via TVSquad]

Tags: Web Sites

Legendary Music! Crippling Terror!

Hello World.

What do you get when you mix The Beatles, Zombies and “Screaming Girls!”?  Why, A Hard Day’s Night of the Living Dead, of course.

Apparently, Our Lingus is Quite Cunning Indeed

Hello World.

As of this writing, I have been monitoring The Patch’s stats for nearly two full days.  In that time, we have received around 33 unique visitors (a modest number, to be sure, but not bad for an un-publicised re-launch).  Of those thirty-three highly intelligent Internet consumers, at least five have arrived at this here site by searching for a rather unusual term.  “What is that term?” you may ask.  “Autocunninglingus” I would reply.

What is interesting about this is not that The Patch appears among the first results for this term in a Google search (thanks to reader Oskar’s use of the word in a comment some time ago), but that there are at least 2-3 people searching each day for this exact misspelling of this rather bizarre concept.  One person even used ALL CAPS - I think it must have been important.

Hump de Bump, indeed

Hello World.

It would seem Alanis Morissette likes her “lovely lady lumps” as much as Fergie does, as she has done a very clever cover of The Black Eyed Peas’ My Humps (not at all new, but I haven’t been posting in a while so give me a break).

– [via Coverville]

But I’m not any of those…

Hello World.

Over on the Something Awful forums, someone has posted a list titled A brief summary of 99% of the people you will ever meet in college [or University].

This is very funny, if only for the fact that it’s extremely accurate.

Some examples:

Intellectual Superhero
Intellectual Superhero is neither an intellectual nor a superhero, but don’t tell him that! The Intellectual Superhero is easily identified by his complete inability to allow a class period to pass by without asking at least 654 questions designed to show how “witty” and “clever” he is. He will attempt to prove the professor wrong in every class with his inane bullshit, regardless of the fact that the professor has a doctorate in the field. If it’s a science course, the Intellectual Superhero will attempt to solve every problem using an alternate method, which is always incorrect. But don’t worry; he’ll still manage to waste 20 minutes of your life with his insane method of solving the problem. At least you’ll get to laugh at him when the professor proves him wrong.

and:

Major Elitist
No, he’s not in the military! Ha ha! All blatantly bad jokes aside, the Major Elitist is generally some type of science or engineering major who looks down on anyone who might even think about getting a humanities or business degree. After all, we all know that the only thing that’s important is science. All that other mamby-pansy bullshit like “History” or “English” or “the world economy” is just a bunch of feel-good rhetorical nonsense anyway. Besides, any jackass can get a liberal arts degree!

There are a few grown-up words and a couple of not-so-G-rated ads in there, so it’s possibly NSFW.

Tags: Web Sites

The (De)Evolution of YouTube

Hello World.

Evolution of Dance is, as of this writing, the most watched video on YouTube.  It has been watched over 36 million times.

The reasons for this video’s success somewhat elude me.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s funny, it’s just not that funny.  New York Times writer Virginia Heffernan says that this video has gained such popularity because it has no English dialogue:

That’s its secret: It’s a silent movie. With a soundtrack… ‘Evolution’ plays in Asia. Remember Asia? Where 60% of the world’s population lives?

(quoted in the Wall Street Journal Online).

However this cannot be the only factor.  The songs in the video are all popular American “hits” from the last few decades, as are the dances that go along with them.  Many of the “jokes” would not necessarily translate into other cultures.

There is also the element of self-propelled popularity.  Many visitors to YouTube will go straight to the popular videos page and watch whatever comes up first.  Consequently, whichever video manages to get to the top spot will most likely stay there.

There is a lot of crap on YouTube, but there are also many videos that are arguably better than this one.  Unfortunately on the Internet, as in much of the popular entertainment industry, “popular” does not always translate to “best”.

Breaking my "No mime, no pop" rule… again.

Hello World.

A while back (in fact, over a year ago) I posted a video of comedian David Armand miming out the lyrics to Natalie Imbruglia’s Torn.

It turns out that there is a sort of sequel to that video, featuring the pocket-sized pop songstress herself, and I dare say it’s even better than the original.  This was performed at the 2006 Secret Policeman’s Ball for Amnesty International.

It’d have to be better than Matrix 3

Hello World.

Below is a “Remixed Trailer” for The Matrix.  Remixed / Recut Trailers are versions of film trailers recut to make a film appear to be something very different from what it really is, and they have popped up all over places like YouTube.

This one turns The Matrix into a romantic comedy.

Booyakasha, Becks

Hello World.

This is a clip from England’s Comic Relief a few years back.  It’s “Ali G” interviewing David and Victoria (”Posh”) Beckham.  I sometimes tire of the Ali G character, because it can be a bit of the same thing over and over, but this clip is truly hilarious.