The Cabbage Patch

Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the world yet?

If you’re feeling paranoid and want to check on the state of the Large Hadron Collider, just point your computer (or fancy-shmancy phone) towards http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com.

It currently says “NOPE.”, which is rather comforting.

Tags: Large Hadron Collider, Web Sites

The Internet is Stupid, but We Love Her Anyway

So, I’ve come to the realisation that I hate the parts of the Internet that everyone else loves.

Take “social networking”, for example. I absolutely hate MySpace, but not for the reasons everyone else does. Others cite its hideous controls and mid-nineties-style flashing, squealing profile pages as reasons to exorcise the website from the social-consciousness. Me? I just hate the people who use it. And the inane comments they leave. And fact that one can’t possibly use it to liaise with one’s peers in private and are instead forced to broadcast to the entire world all the pointless drivel that takes place.

And don’t get me started on Facebook. No, I don’t want to spread your stupid vampire/zombie/whingeing harpy crap. And no, I don’t want to install the fucking Super Wall.

I think I’m genetically designed to not understand sites like MySpace or Facebook. I don’t want to broadcast everything I’m doing and everyone I’m associating with (that sounds… saucy) to the whole planet. I don’t like having conversations that take days to happen. I don’t like the implication that everyone I’ve ever met, however briefly, is my “friend”.

Of course these networks have their uses. Facebook has an awesome Poker game on it. MySpace provided an outlet for the awesome Sugarshock. And, if ever I decide to leave this little cave of mine and interact with others, I know where to find them. I just don’t get all the rest of it.

All that being said, I’ve found a “social network” I actually don’t mind using. This thing called Twitter is everywhere you look on the Internet, so I recently checked it out. It’s been variously described as “micro-blogging” or a kind of broadcast SMS. To put it in a way the rest of the world seems to understand - it’s like the status line under your name on Facebook, without the rest of Facebook. It’s a whole site dedicated to that single-line statement. This appeals to me.

I don’t know about everyone else (and I am fully prepared to admit that I am not like everybody else), but things often happen to me or occur to me that I wish to acknowledge in some ironic, witty or simply noteworthy way. If you’re a friend of mine, you’ve probably received an SMS or two from me along the lines of “I’ve just seen…” or “Did you know…?” or “Ever wonder…?”. You know, those things that happen in daily life that you really feel like sharing with, well anyone.

That is, in part, why I started this site those years ago. I wanted a place where I could say or show anything that occurred to me. However, in reality, these little types of thoughts usually don’t warrant an entire blog post to themselves. That’s why Twitter is useful. It is designed for little thoughts. In fact, it is exclusively for such a use, as each posting can only be 140 characters long.

Now, having used the site for a couple of days, I have noticed that this is another example of me not quite getting it the way everyone else does. A large part of the Twitter user base uses it in two other ways that I don’t think I ever will. The first, is to broadcast not the thoughts and opinions of the author, but the detailed minutiae of their lives. “I’m going to work now”, “I just ate lunch” - that kind of thing.

The other common use is to have those MySpace-style conversations where the reader can only see one side of any exchange. This just shits me to no end. “@ThoughtlessDrone Yes, I agree completely! HAHA!” means nothing to me, and I shouldn’t have to read it.

Nevertheless, I’m going to try using this Twitter thing and see how it works out. Knowing me, I’ll probably have abandoned it by next Tuesday.

You can see my most recent “tweets” (why does everything on the Internet have to have such a stupid name? But that’s a rant for another time) over on the newly-reinstated side-bar.

Or here.

Tags: rant, twitter, Web Sites

Not Just for Lighting Barbeques

Hello World.

Long-time readers will be aware that I like to dabble in Photoshop, despite my severe lack of artistic talent.  You will also be aware that I like to show off my “art” at every opportunity.

A few weeks ago, I was browsing through the forums over at ComicVine, when I found a thread discussing possible replacements for Kirsten Dunst in the Spider-Man movies.  The commenters were wondering what various actresses would look like with Mary Jane’s trademark red hair.  I couldn’t resist the challenge, and started my own digital hair salon. Below are the results.

First, someone proposed that Eliza Dushku (of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame) would make a very attractive red-head indeed.  They were correct:

Next, someone proposed that Hayden Panettiere of Heroes would make Spidey a very happy man.  Again, right on the money:

Lastly was the suggestion of Lost’s Evangeline Lilly.  Not the best manipulation I’ve done, but certainly not an unattractive lass:

So there you go - three alternatives, as decided by comic-book nerds, should Ms. Dunst ever decide that getting multi-million dollar paychecks for looking distressed in the arms of a guy in a rubber suit is not for her.

Tags: Web Sites

It’ll be called: "Queer as Chucky"

Hello World.

A starship captain who is secretly gay has a baby with a parolled murderer who’s a mannequin come to life. Stars Marion Ross and Kelly Ripa. Genre: Action

This is the concept for a new TV show as proposed by The TV Show Pitch Generator.

It is interesting to hear concepts presented in this way, because as bizarre as they sound, they’re really not that different from what is actually on television:

A city girl, whose estranged father dies, moves to the country to ride horses with mysteriously good-looking farm-hands.  After a few years, there will be no one called McLeod remaining on the show. Stars Generic Replaceable Blonde Actress and Generic Replaceable Brunette Actress.  Genre: Crap

– [via TVSquad]

Tags: Web Sites

Like Flickr, but without the photos

Hello World.

It should come as no surprise that I like language.  I worship words.  I fancy phrases.  It shouldn’t be a shock, then, that a website like Wordie really peaks my interest.

Wordie’s tagline is “Like Flickr, but without the photos”, and this is probably the most apt description of what the site offers.

Wordie is a site for you to collect all the words that you come across that you like, or want to remember for later.  Words such as “pseudonym“, “sanguine” and “catastrofuck“.

Each word gets its own page where users can post comments relating to that word and some links to definitions are provided.

This is a website for a very particular type of language snob nerd, which I presume is why I thoroughly enjoy it.

Tags: Web Sites

But I’m not any of those…

Hello World.

Over on the Something Awful forums, someone has posted a list titled A brief summary of 99% of the people you will ever meet in college [or University].

This is very funny, if only for the fact that it’s extremely accurate.

Some examples:

Intellectual Superhero
Intellectual Superhero is neither an intellectual nor a superhero, but don’t tell him that! The Intellectual Superhero is easily identified by his complete inability to allow a class period to pass by without asking at least 654 questions designed to show how “witty” and “clever” he is. He will attempt to prove the professor wrong in every class with his inane bullshit, regardless of the fact that the professor has a doctorate in the field. If it’s a science course, the Intellectual Superhero will attempt to solve every problem using an alternate method, which is always incorrect. But don’t worry; he’ll still manage to waste 20 minutes of your life with his insane method of solving the problem. At least you’ll get to laugh at him when the professor proves him wrong.

and:

Major Elitist
No, he’s not in the military! Ha ha! All blatantly bad jokes aside, the Major Elitist is generally some type of science or engineering major who looks down on anyone who might even think about getting a humanities or business degree. After all, we all know that the only thing that’s important is science. All that other mamby-pansy bullshit like “History” or “English” or “the world economy” is just a bunch of feel-good rhetorical nonsense anyway. Besides, any jackass can get a liberal arts degree!

There are a few grown-up words and a couple of not-so-G-rated ads in there, so it’s possibly NSFW.

Tags: Web Sites

With a Little Help From My e-Friends - Part One

Hello World.

Social networks, it would seem, have taken over the Internet.  Sites like MySpace and Facebook are all the rage with “the kids” nowadays, and you’re no one if you don’t have at least a dozen virtual “friends”.

There are various types of “social sites” available on the Internet, ranging from general purpose meeting places (like MySpace) to special interest or focused communities.  I have featured Last.fm on Da Patch before - it is a social site based around the very specific topic of music.  In this multi-part feature I’m going to discuss some of the other networks that I have begun to get involved in and my thoughts on what they are about.

› Continue reading

Tags: Web Sites

Sorry

Hello World.

Sorry about the recent lack of updates.  Life has a tendency to get in the way occasionally.  There will be updates on their way shortly.

PS. Arrrr!

Tags: Web Sites

There’s no accounting for taste

Hello World.

In the past I have directed you to my Last.fm profile, my Flickr photos, and various other pages of mine around the web.  I don’t think, however, I have ever pointed you to deviantART.  I plan to do a write up about this amazing website soon, so I won’t go into it here.

I would like to briefly discuss, however, a bizarre thing which has just happened to me on this website.

› Continue reading

Tags: Link to Me, Web Sites

500 photos, all in a row…

Hello World.

You may have seen me go on (and on) about the fabulous photo-sharing site Flickr.  Well, one of my favourite things to do when I’m bored is to browse through some of the millions of photos stored on Flickr’s servers.  However, with so many of them, it can be a little awkward (and slow) to wade through them all.  Along comes Flickr Leech.

Flickr Leech is a site which will collect the photos you want to see (by almost any criteria - interestingness, user, set, tag, or text search) and display all of them as a collection of thumbnails.  This makes it very easy to simply browse through them and only click on the ones you actually want to see.

If you’re ever bored, browsing through the interesting photos of the day can be quite entertaining (click Interestingness->date->go).

Tags: Web Sites